Confidence

I guess I took a little break. I haven't been too...sure of myself as of late. I've had overwhelming fears telling me that maybe I'm never going to have an agent want to represent me. It's a shame because now I know that people do like my writing. I have, and I'm not entirely proud of this, written a story on fanfiction. It wasn't real fanfiction to be quite honest. It was moderately based around the science and religion of PC and KristenCast's House of Night series. But I added my own mythology and changed some things. I didn't steal their characters like most do. I just...got inspired by the idea of their books being based in fact.

Long to short (too late, I know) I wrote a pretty amazing story that a lot of people read. I was actually pretty surprised by my readers. When you think fanfiction you think lame romance stories about characters and people who can't think for themselves enough to create their own characters and circumstance (though I have read a few that are the exceptions). My readers were actually pretty smart and passionate about my story. It confused me a little but ultimately gave me confidence.

Contrary to the claims of agents, I do write what the people want to read. I just don't write what they assume people want to read. This makes me feel wonderful about my writing but terrible about my prospects in terms of being published. So what do I do? Selfpublishing? That does not seem like a great option.

Oh well, I'll keep working on this paranormal/urban fantasy book I've been working on since September or so. Maybe it will get my foot in the door and I can get my baby published. I feel like the little engine sometimes. Between writing and school. I just keep chanting to myself "I think I can. I think I can." and hope that it's true.